Why do I always feel so down?

My feeling is that it is his way of breaking the routine you both have on a daily basis and he works hard to achieve this. However its his form of escape, his way of coping and give him if not both of you a horizon some goals, friendships, something to work for, to achieve the holidays. He may feel that he is trying to make you happy, to help you break the cycle but clearly he is not and you need to trust him and be honest with him, perhaps you could go to the gp together as it sounds like a block of medication or some counselling may help. Either way don't be too hard on yourself we all have to ask for help at stages in our lives. Best wishes maureen.